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by ZweiBieren On the Date of Creation pens in a mug
The world was created on May 28th, 1941, at 6:28AM. There is persuasive evidence that it existed prior to that time, including statements to the contrary by my very own mother. However, all this evidence was brought into being at exactly the moment of creation. The creator, being omnipotent, created relics, memories, traditions, and all at exactly the moment of creation. Everything was created: dinosaur bones with aged carbon dates, fig trees, scientists, and creationists. The entire Bible and all its lore was created at that exact moment. It is a mystery to me as to why the scientists and creationists argue over the lifetime of the universe as being seven thousand to seven billion years old. Neither is close to the truth. The universe is only sixty-five years old as this is written.

A friend argued that in fact the universe was created last night at two AM when no one was looking. Curiously, he hypothesizes that this happened at two AM in every time zone. People at the leading edge of each zone werre temporarily anesthetized to avoid their noticing the sudden existence of the adjacent time zone. This does not fit with my own experience. I have been near the edge of time zones at two AM and noticed nothing out of the ordinary. But of course, that is the point. The whole operation is designed to be completely unobservable to the occupants.

Sadly, the entire universe has a limited lifetime. It will all winkle out some time in the next fifty years. The elderly, middle aged, parents, children, infants, scientists, creationists, and dinosaur bones will all vanish simultaneously with my death. Sorry about that folks.
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